








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,368 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 429 | 31% |
| Smokes | 291 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 329 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 319 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $165,133 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Durk | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | COLLiNz | 40% | 48 |
| #6 | Shiny Mudkip | 38% | 16 |
| #7 | TwistedTrav | 33% | 21 |
| #8 | Saul Goodman | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COLLiNz | 30 | 0.0319 |
| #2 | TwistedTrav | 26 | 0.0607 |
| #3 | Durk | 10 | 0.0380 |
| #4 | Shiny Mudkip | 9 | 0.0275 |
| #5 | 𝙣𝙚𝙤 | 3 | 0.0526 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COLLiNz | 65 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | TwistedTrav | 64 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Poop Sock | 21 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Durk | 21 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Saul Goodman | 14 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Durk | +2.92 | 70 | 51 |
| #2 | COLLiNz | +2.89 | 70 | 57 |
| #3 | 𝙣𝙚𝙤 | +2.17 | 67 | 53 |
| #4 | we live. we love. we lie | +1.44 | 63 | 46 |
| #5 | Poop Sock | +0.58 | 61 | 63 |





