










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
66 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 86 | 25% |
| Smokes | 114 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 81 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 58 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $84,250 of utility $245 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | space dad | 29% | 7 |
| #3 | glow bill | 20% | 15 |
| #4 | bees | 17% | 12 |
| #5 | Obonob | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | space dad | 29% | 7 |
| #3 | glow bill | 20% | 15 |
| #4 | bees | 17% | 12 |
| #5 | Obonob | 13% | 8 |
| #6 | Czar | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bees | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Obonob | 1 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Czar | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obonob | 49 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #2 | glow bill | 41 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | space dad | 35 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | Czar | 13 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | bees | 7 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obonob | +1.35 | 76 | 59 |
| #2 | Czar | +0.96 | 64 | 31 |
| #3 | glow bill | +0.85 | 49 | 69 |
| #4 | space dad | -0.70 | 42 | 65 |
| #5 | bees | -0.85 | 37 | 43 |





