








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4668 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,806 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5597 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4680 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5446 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5083 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,169,222 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noons | 50% | 547 |
| #2 | Skeeter Jean | 49% | 367 |
| #3 | Wass | 47% | 318 |
| #4 | FruitLoops | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noons | 50% | 547 |
| #2 | Skeeter Jean | 49% | 367 |
| #3 | Wass | 47% | 318 |
| #4 | FruitLoops | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noons | 26 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Skeeter Jean | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Wass | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | FruitLoops | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noons | 2595 | 0.24 | 83 min |
| #2 | Skeeter Jean | 993 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #3 | Wass | 497 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #4 | FruitLoops | 95 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noons | +2.57 | 74 | 76 |
| #2 | Dabi | +0.21 | 66 | 72 |
| #3 | Skeeter Jean | -0.42 | 73 | 60 |
| #4 | Wass | -1.56 | 74 | 58 |
| #5 | FruitLoops | -2.00 | 66 | 56 |





