








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1123 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 676 | 20% |
| Smokes | 989 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 846 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 897 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $590,827 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hakis | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Timo Tiikeri | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | EekQ | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | SilveriJone | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | TiXu | 67% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Wave | 46% | 50 |
| #14 | Nakkilaivan Perämies Number 5 | 45% | 22 |
| #15 | UnLucky | 38% | 8 |
| #16 | Herra Kukan salaton rakastaja | 38% | 8 |
| #17 | Gaius | 29% | 14 |





