








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 381 | 45% |
| Smokes | 154 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 188 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 125 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $121,262 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐๐๐ง๐ข๐ญ๐ฌ๐ฎ | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Patrick not Gay | 33% | 39 |
| #3 | Ferdi Fuchs Geflรผgel Mini Wurst | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐๐๐ง๐ข๐ญ๐ฌ๐ฎ | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Patrick not Gay | 33% | 39 |
| #3 | Ferdi Fuchs Geflรผgel Mini Wurst | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick not Gay | 11 | 0.0152 |
| #2 | Ferdi Fuchs Geflรผgel Mini Wurst | 3 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick not Gay | 84 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Ferdi Fuchs Geflรผgel Mini Wurst | 26 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐๐๐ง๐ข๐ญ๐ฌ๐ฎ | +5.49 | 94 | 9 |
| #2 | Ferdi Fuchs Geflรผgel Mini Wurst | +0.85 | 66 | 57 |
| #3 | Patrick not Gay | -0.20 | 49 | 67 |
| #4 | xXNoraxHDXxLPPvPKiller69 | -1.17 | 29 | 49 |





