








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 374 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,677 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2782 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4225 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3024 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2646 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,772,753 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glyn | 61% | 67 |
| #2 | Capone | 55% | 386 |
| #3 | Obey | 51% | 191 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glyn | 61% | 67 |
| #2 | Capone | 55% | 386 |
| #3 | Obey | 51% | 191 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capone | 12 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Obey | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Glyn | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capone | 1198 | 0.15 | 29 min |
| #2 | Obey | 498 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Glyn | 147 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capone | +4.19 | 88 | 65 |
| #2 | ty | -1.12 | 58 | 54 |
| #3 | Glyn | -1.18 | 43 | 65 |
| #4 | Obey | -2.45 | 64 | 54 |





