








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
683 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1090 | 51% |
| Smokes | 398 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 500 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 139 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $225,345 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jkP | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | Skinny | 44% | 41 |
| #3 | cyd1cal | 41% | 106 |
| #4 | stompstomp | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jkP | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | Skinny | 44% | 41 |
| #3 | cyd1cal | 41% | 106 |
| #4 | stompstomp | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cyd1cal | 66 | 0.0312 |
| #2 | Skinny | 29 | 0.0352 |
| #3 | jkP | 4 | 0.0138 |
| #4 | stompstomp | 2 | 0.0165 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cyd1cal | 408 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | Skinny | 111 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | jkP | 23 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | stompstomp | 11 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skinny | +3.64 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | cyd1cal | +2.18 | 80 | 62 |
| #3 | jkP | +0.10 | 72 | 53 |
| #4 | stompstomp | -0.76 | 58 | 44 |
| #5 | JKM | -2.69 | 28 | 46 |





