








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,728 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1819 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2002 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1590 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1317 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $625,268 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toto | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Lerska | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | stort hagelgevär bra spelare | 67% | 18 |
| #4 | Maukka | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | SORTAJA | 55% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TUHOOJA3000 | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | SORTAJA | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Orphan Crippler | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Angkarn | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | General Pancho | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orphan Crippler | 327 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | SORTAJA | 306 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | General Pancho | 281 | 0.30 | 8 min |
| #4 | TUHOOJA3000 | 248 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | slavique | 167 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slavique | +3.14 | 62 | 65 |
| #2 | TUHOOJA3000 | +2.02 | 83 | 76 |
| #3 | tomaho | +1.22 | 65 | 66 |
| #4 | LEGiS--> | +1.11 | 73 | 70 |
| #5 | Orphan Crippler | +0.75 | 67 | 77 |





