








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 615 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,395 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 864 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1615 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2611 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2305 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $776,590 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ツDoobySnacks | 50% | 66 |
| #5 | ツSemi | 42% | 81 |
| #6 | ツPookie Bear | 42% | 79 |
| #7 | ツGarlic Goblin | 41% | 29 |
| #8 | Jokyst | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツDoobySnacks | 256 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | ツPookie Bear | 159 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | ツSemi | 119 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Islam Makhachev | 79 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Seal | 60 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツWARPEDx | +3.50 | 78 | 50 |
| #2 | ツDoobySnacks | -0.20 | 48 | 54 |
| #3 | Seal | -0.45 | 51 | 44 |
| #4 | ツSemi | -0.59 | 50 | 60 |
| #5 | ツGarlic Goblin | -1.01 | 47 | 57 |





