








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1523 matches | ||
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Wingman | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 180 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




156 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
16909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 65,895 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16887 | 26% |
| Smokes | 21462 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 12616 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 14930 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,216,648 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4821 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mango | 50% | 293 |
| #2 | Hog Rider | 50% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mango | 50% | 293 |
| #2 | Hog Rider | 50% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mango | 25 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Hog Rider | 12 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mango | 362 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #2 | Hog Rider | 238 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GarrettPictures | +1.00 | 63 | 60 |
| #2 | Mango | +0.44 | 63 | 67 |
| #3 | Hog Rider | -2.98 | 52 | 53 |





