








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,290 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 436 | 34% |
| Smokes | 437 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 192 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 225 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $111,673 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A40 | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Volatus | 51% | 68 |
| #3 | Kim Jong Ramzini | 51% | 81 |
| #4 | Ginseng Roots | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Chef Sexy | 43% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Volatus | 51% | 68 |
| #3 | Kim Jong Ramzini | 51% | 81 |
| #4 | Ginseng Roots | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Chef Sexy | 43% | 90 |
| #6 | Par_Chaos | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef Sexy | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | A40 | 9 | 0.0277 |
| #3 | Par_Chaos | 7 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | Kim Jong Ramzini | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Volatus | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Par_Chaos | 169 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #2 | Chef Sexy | 114 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Volatus | 113 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kim Jong Ramzini | 56 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ginseng Roots | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Par_Chaos | +3.56 | 66 | 70 |
| #2 | Log | +2.27 | 49 | 26 |
| #3 | Volatus | +1.20 | 23 | 67 |
| #4 | Ginseng Roots | +1.12 | 21 | 36 |
| #5 | A40 | +0.55 | 61 | 44 |





