








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1160 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1201 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1292 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1503 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $425,024 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | riukay | 50% | 131 |
| #6 | FihH'05 | 49% | 81 |
| #7 | TA IZII | 47% | 177 |
| #8 | n da mais | 40% | 70 |
| #9 | Vynnie | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C.A.O.S | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | TA IZII | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | FihH'05 | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Vynnie | 2 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | riukay | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TA IZII | 243 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | riukay | 186 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | C.A.O.S | 86 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | n da mais | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | FihH'05 | 22 | 0.03 | 1 min |





