








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 305 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Wingman | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5385 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4241 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6803 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2583 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,254,605 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 817 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daemon | 52 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | papierkorb7 | 41 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Nörger | 26 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | MagicalHoboGamer | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Beelzebub | 4 | 0.0019 |





