








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 431 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




129 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3300 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2719 | 16% |
| Smokes | 6715 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 3340 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3926 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,390,780 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1342 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fr3sh | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | Minichymy | 49% | 89 |
| #3 | Jaquavious Bieber | 48% | 172 |
| #4 | . | 31% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fr3sh | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | Minichymy | 49% | 89 |
| #3 | Jaquavious Bieber | 48% | 172 |
| #4 | . | 31% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaquavious Bieber | 30 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | . | 11 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | Minichymy | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Fr3sh | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaquavious Bieber | 529 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | Minichymy | 144 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | . | 60 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Fr3sh | 25 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaquavious Bieber | +3.03 | 62 | 52 |
| #2 | Fr3sh | +2.03 | 64 | 57 |
| #3 | Toot | +0.84 | 42 | 57 |
| #4 | Minichymy | +0.79 | 73 | 41 |
| #5 | . | -1.01 | 57 | 38 |





