








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 16 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,310 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 335 | 26% |
| Smokes | 340 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 333 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 302 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $75,477 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maaryy | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | hfah | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Melavi | 83% | 6 |
| #4 | Chudy | 78% | 9 |
| #5 | MWLKY | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | hector salamanca | 70% | 10 |
| #7 | ex1st | 67% | 3 |
| #8 | Markoś | 50% | 2 |
| #9 | sk1tt | 50% | 2 |
| #10 | rick | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maaryy | 1 | 0.0286 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hector salamanca | 40 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | rick | 38 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #3 | MWLKY | 33 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #4 | Chudy | 25 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | hfah | 7 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melavi | +4.92 | 89 | 60 |
| #2 | Markoś | +3.10 | 89 | 63 |
| #3 | maaryy | +2.40 | 89 | 70 |
| #4 | AdrieN | +1.48 | 80 | 69 |
| #5 | ex1st | +1.13 | 84 | 70 |





