








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 439 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 180 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6174 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6159 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5660 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4897 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4533 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,054,929 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1000 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chloe | 57% | 82 |
| #2 | Cat ッ | 56% | 358 |
| #3 | Ev0kE | 55% | 266 |
| #4 | Rachie ☕ | 52% | 221 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chloe | 57% | 82 |
| #2 | Cat ッ | 56% | 358 |
| #3 | Ev0kE | 55% | 266 |
| #4 | Rachie ☕ | 52% | 221 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cat ッ | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Ev0kE | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Rachie ☕ | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | chloe | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cat ッ | 1576 | 0.21 | 45 min |
| #2 | Rachie ☕ | 658 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | Ev0kE | 577 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #4 | chloe | 277 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chloe | +3.37 | 88 | 61 |
| #2 | 𐂃Messa Beena Bad Girl | +2.55 | 85 | 70 |
| #3 | Cat ッ | +2.19 | 80 | 74 |
| #4 | Ev0kE | -1.42 | 62 | 65 |
| #5 | Rachie ☕ | -5.17 | 43 | 57 |





