








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 763 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9026 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16600 | 42% |
| Smokes | 12525 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3470 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 6768 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,598,928 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 986 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Gugubird | 47% | 169 |
| #10 | ollovelly | 46% | 241 |
| #11 | KiKi | 45% | 76 |
| #12 | dora the mei mei | 44% | 64 |
| #13 | kaijun | 42% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheng69 | 38 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | NVR | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | ollovelly | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | s. | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Gugubird | 6 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheng69 | 2426 | 0.21 | 72 min |
| #2 | Gugubird | 914 | 0.25 | 24 min |
| #3 | ollovelly | 757 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #4 | s. | 431 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #5 | PinkBean | 392 | 0.19 | 10 min |





