








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,295 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 470 | 20% |
| Smokes | 152 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 1179 | 51% |
| Molotovs | 494 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $181,309 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | APATHY | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Agent Cooper | 55% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | APATHY | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Agent Cooper | 55% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Agent Cooper | 9 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Agent Cooper | 119 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | APATHY | 10 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Führer Alex | +4.66 | 90 | 48 |
| #2 | APATHY | -0.30 | 90 | 64 |
| #3 | Agent Cooper | -1.95 | 41 | 57 |





