








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 932 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5419 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4909 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3889 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4279 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,359,380 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | margosa | 31 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Ralph_007 | 20 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | ZAZA HAZAGA | 19 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | DaLean | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | MikiPukutukas | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZAZA HAZAGA | 1056 | 0.24 | 23 min |
| #2 | DaLean | 789 | 0.28 | 23 min |
| #3 | Ralph_007 | 710 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #4 | margosa | 238 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | MikiPukutukas | 82 | 0.03 | 2 min |





