








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 477 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,142 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4002 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3788 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4016 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3336 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,060,112 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanne | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | フノᄊノ乇刀乃 | 50% | 107 |
| #3 | N1kkeX1 | 50% | 349 |
| #4 | Jakelele | 47% | 132 |
| #5 | ℬ₳ℬ¥ツ | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanne | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | フノᄊノ乇刀乃 | 50% | 107 |
| #3 | N1kkeX1 | 50% | 349 |
| #4 | Jakelele | 47% | 132 |
| #5 | ℬ₳ℬ¥ツ | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1kkeX1 | 13 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Jakelele | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | フノᄊノ乇刀乃 | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ℬ₳ℬ¥ツ | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Kanne | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1kkeX1 | 899 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | Jakelele | 755 | 0.28 | 15 min |
| #3 | フノᄊノ乇刀乃 | 251 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | ℬ₳ℬ¥ツ | 98 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kanne | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1kkeX1 | +1.51 | 79 | 54 |
| #2 | Jakelele | +0.05 | 46 | 53 |
| #3 | Mcghee | +0.04 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | Kanne | -0.72 | 82 | 53 |
| #5 | フノᄊノ乇刀乃 | -0.85 | 54 | 65 |





