








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2959 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 545 | 4% |
| Smokes | 4700 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 5379 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 3162 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $957,289 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheHoLs | 26 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | BOT Vladimir.... | 9 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | KUSTI | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Kärbus | 7 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | Jarmpss | 6 | 0.0122 |





