








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
926 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 436 | 27% |
| Smokes | 734 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 138 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 281 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $171,237 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McNutty | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Eddy Loves You | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Kvri | 49% | 61 |
| #4 | z1mple | 48% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McNutty | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Eddy Loves You | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Kvri | 49% | 61 |
| #4 | z1mple | 48% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z1mple | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Kvri | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | McNutty | 1 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z1mple | 266 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | Kvri | 133 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | McNutty | 15 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #4 | Eddy Loves You | 14 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TR∅PIS | +2.84 | 65 | 49 |
| #2 | Kvri | -0.29 | 71 | 43 |
| #3 | McNutty | -1.18 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | Eddy Loves You | -1.91 | 51 | 32 |
| #5 | z1mple | -2.92 | 33 | 58 |





