








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 732 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,935 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6010 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1868 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 3212 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2845 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,424,712 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pablo Henri (El doctor) | 434 | 0.07 | 14 min |
| #2 | Zodiac ♏ | 387 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | ✮ | 209 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✹♛✠Aguss✠♛✹ | 161 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #5 | ULTRASHOCK | 151 | 0.04 | 3 min |





