








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 570 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3128 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,785 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2256 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2935 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2010 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1584 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,053,696 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 266 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆❣️stORMie❣️☆ | 236 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #2 | W | 130 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | H | 115 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Zapy | 107 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | K | 83 | 0.08 | 2 min |





