








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2889 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,035 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3540 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5741 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4410 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5344 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $492,806 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ling Long | 57% | 47 |
| #2 | Taykiw | 49% | 209 |
| #3 | Skadoosh | 49% | 100 |
| #4 | r1 | 49% | 143 |
| #5 | Toxic Cracker | 49% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toxic Cracker | 11 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | UPEX | 9 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | r1 | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Taykiw | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Ling Long | 5 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taykiw | 415 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | Toxic Cracker | 287 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | EeKayVee | 176 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Skadoosh | 172 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | r1 | 161 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r1 | +4.28 | 84 | 57 |
| #2 | Ling Long | +3.98 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | Toxic Cracker | +1.22 | 60 | 63 |
| #4 | Vincent | -0.07 | 68 | 62 |
| #5 | Skadoosh | -0.16 | 58 | 68 |





