








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1107 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1594 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1230 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1433 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $902,056 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | KTNBOTPN | 48% | 93 |
| #7 | bossu aikanpi | 48% | 87 |
| #8 | Mantan Istri David | 45% | 44 |
| #9 | ӕ | 41% | 63 |
| #10 | NistyG | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bossu aikanpi | 570 | 0.33 | 12 min |
| #2 | ea | 441 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #3 | KTNBOTPN | 401 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | Cylakovich | 232 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | ӕ | 229 | 0.18 | 7 min |





