








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 596 | 23% |
| Smokes | 640 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 699 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 627 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $131,636 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Duxen | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | Fatmosaurus | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | Densortedød | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | netleHidlorT | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | E$T0X | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | netleHidlorT | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | E$T0X | 42% | 12 |
| #6 | E$T0X | 41% | 17 |
| #7 | middelmaadig | 33% | 6 |
| #8 | ♿ Fleacebeheaver | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Duxen | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Fatmosaurus | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | netleHidlorT | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | E$T0X | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | ♿ Fleacebeheaver | 1 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fatmosaurus | 55 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | netleHidlorT | 46 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | ★ Duxen | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | ♿ Fleacebeheaver | 34 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | E$T0X | 26 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rasputin | +2.93 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | netleHidlorT | +1.29 | 80 | 50 |
| #3 | ★ Duxen | -0.53 | 69 | 57 |
| #4 | ♿ Fleacebeheaver | -1.41 | 58 | 46 |
| #5 | middelmaadig | -1.73 | 68 | 66 |





