










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 805 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 219 | 27% |
| Smokes | 103 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 261 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 222 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $340,433 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Shakon_Krogen | 33% | 15 |
| #10 | Spork, Eater of Soap | 30% | 10 |
| #11 | FADED THAN A HOE | 20% | 5 |
| #12 | Kyoji Horoguchi | 20% | 5 |
| #13 | Jacko | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Verdamace | 3 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | wolfy | 3 | 0.0150 |
| #3 | Jacko | 3 | 0.0238 |
| #4 | RIFT | 2 | 0.0104 |
| #5 | WolfKing115 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WolfKing115 | 58 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | Verdamace | 32 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | cammy | 20 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #4 | wolfy | 14 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Jacko | 12 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿︎ | asfjghkjhlkjkhjkskfaj'; | +7.80 | 59 | 72 |
| #2 | wolfy | +5.57 | 61 | 40 |
| #3 | FADED THAN A HOE | +4.25 | 79 | 25 |
| #4 | cammy | +3.60 | 64 | 37 |
| #5 | deary | +0.61 | 78 | 28 |





