








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 316 | 35% |
| Smokes | 208 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 316 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 74 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $99,263 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bungalow | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Nuckin Futs | 39% | 18 |
| #3 | Sick Nasty | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | Unluhcky | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bungalow | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Nuckin Futs | 39% | 18 |
| #3 | Sick Nasty | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | Unluhcky | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuckin Futs | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Unluhcky | 1 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Sick Nasty | 1 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuckin Futs | 21 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #2 | Unluhcky | 8 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | bungalow | 7 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Sick Nasty | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bungalow | +6.94 | 90 | 51 |
| #2 | Nuckin Futs | +1.35 | 71 | 46 |
| #3 | Unluhcky | -2.29 | 48 | 31 |
| #4 | ItMeLuigi | -3.42 | 58 | 51 |
| #5 | Sick Nasty | -3.47 | 40 | 38 |





