








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 345 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2563 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3576 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2550 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2767 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,339,620 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | BIG T | 51% | 63 |
| #6 | Dowdie | 49% | 172 |
| #7 | Frank Pentangeli | 48% | 60 |
| #8 | jish | 47% | 195 |
| #9 | Danger | 46% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bonk | 26 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Cheddar Mouse | 15 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Danger | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | jish | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Dowdie | 7 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bonk | 962 | 0.23 | 23 min |
| #2 | jish | 678 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #3 | Danger | 501 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | Dowdie | 458 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #5 | REQUIS | 347 | 0.17 | 7 min |





