








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 230 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2575 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,973 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3209 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3177 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3493 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3094 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $544,907 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marquez Olga | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | Dannn.nie ⭕⃤ | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | MiniK0ala | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | Stephen Amell | 56% | 39 |
| #5 | Drillology | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Super Dooper Smelly Head | 45% | 93 |
| #10 | lucid | 42% | 33 |
| #11 | Mog Master | 39% | 18 |
| #12 | MiniGunner | 38% | 56 |
| #13 | CrimeScene | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snatch repellent | 15 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Super Dooper Smelly Head | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | CrimeScene | 5 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | MiniK0ala | 4 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | Stephen Amell | 3 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snatch repellent | 509 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #2 | Super Dooper Smelly Head | 416 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | Stephen Amell | 98 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Luca | 90 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mog Master | 83 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mog Master | +4.07 | 65 | 67 |
| #2 | Luca | +2.68 | 65 | 74 |
| #3 | Snatch repellent | +2.45 | 59 | 73 |
| #4 | Marquez Olga | +1.85 | 75 | 28 |
| #5 | Super Dooper Smelly Head | +1.71 | 56 | 71 |





