








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
640 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,328 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 315 | 14% |
| Smokes | 658 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 589 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 766 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $79,639 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pepperoni and Jam | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | E90 Superior Chassis | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Jameson | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | S1n3star | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | Darth | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | E90 Superior Chassis | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Jameson | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | S1n3star | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | Darth | 43% | 35 |
| #6 | rico | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darth | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darth | 114 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | rico | 79 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jameson | 78 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | S1n3star | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | E90 Superior Chassis | 7 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S1n3star | +0.50 | 71 | 61 |
| #2 | Kryptic | +0.44 | 64 | 62 |
| #3 | Pepperoni and Jam | -0.10 | 58 | 49 |
| #4 | rico | -0.39 | 72 | 63 |
| #5 | Darth | -0.42 | 69 | 61 |





