








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 345 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
975 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,359 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1262 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1537 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 920 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 640 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $255,084 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel Inc. | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | KukkiMeister=DDD! | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Jógvan leanklett (horse lover) | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | ►Bananin◄ | 2 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | tzetze | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ollurin | 115 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | KukkiMeister=DDD! | 96 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | DumboTheHacker | 61 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | Zokid16 | 59 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Excel Inc. | 49 | 0.06 | 1 min |





