








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1718 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,590 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1004 | 28% |
| Smokes | 826 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 862 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 898 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $739,048 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mugginator the slayer of noobs | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | ♿Ass♿ | 52% | 146 |
| #3 | T.tv/N0_L0gic | 51% | 53 |
| #4 | Sweyz | 50% | 137 |
| #5 | DMF | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mugginator the slayer of noobs | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | ♿Ass♿ | 52% | 146 |
| #3 | T.tv/N0_L0gic | 51% | 53 |
| #4 | Sweyz | 50% | 137 |
| #5 | DMF | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sweyz | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | ♿Ass♿ | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | T.tv/N0_L0gic | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Mugginator the slayer of noobs | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | DMF | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿Ass♿ | 386 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Sweyz | 383 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | T.tv/N0_L0gic | 85 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mugginator the slayer of noobs | 51 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | DMF | 33 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mugginator the slayer of noobs | +6.08 | 92 | 53 |
| #2 | ♿Ass♿ | +0.10 | 63 | 54 |
| #3 | Sweyz | -0.19 | 59 | 45 |
| #4 | T.tv/N0_L0gic | -0.64 | 64 | 48 |
| #5 | sTOrM | -0.95 | 60 | 45 |





