








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 685 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 324 matches | ||
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4312 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,421 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3936 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4666 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5269 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3550 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,578,087 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 937 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Kiwi | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | El Gringo | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Knob Goblin Jr | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | KefeS | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | JFT Fliqz | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Kiwi | 536 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #2 | Rad | 221 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Knob Goblin Jr | 157 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | KefeS | 135 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | JFT Fliqz | 124 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knob Goblin Jr | +2.22 | 64 | 36 |
| #2 | Lil Kiwi | +1.11 | 56 | 54 |
| #3 | goatedRice.crimpy94 | +0.80 | 86 | 47 |
| #4 | Rad | +0.76 | 71 | 66 |
| #5 | El Gringo | +0.22 | 69 | 40 |





