










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
774 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,597 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 479 | 18% |
| Smokes | 819 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 573 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 726 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $388,023 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The007Cow | CSGORage.com | 7 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Ken Jøran Downstowns | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Danimansken | 5 | 0.0136 |
| #4 | Neerstad | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | totally not smurf ;) | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | totally not smurf ;) | 82 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Neerstad | 62 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ken Jøran Downstowns | 59 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | The007Cow | CSGORage.com | 47 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Danimansken | 47 | 0.13 | 1 min |





