








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,172 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 153 | 13% |
| Smokes | 323 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 260 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 436 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $120,007 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Demonix ™ | 62% | 55 |
| #6 | norman^ | 60% | 48 |
| #7 | Unknown | 59% | 29 |
| #8 | Forsaken | 50% | 4 |
| #9 | BON | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demonix ™ | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | norman^ | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Unknown | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Brizzta | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Dancing Sun | 1 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | norman^ | 172 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Demonix ™ | 63 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Unknown | 46 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Brizzta | 30 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Forsaken | 4 | 0.05 | 0 min |





