








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 974 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Esplay | 13 matches | 1,624 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2855 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4862 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5216 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4943 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3278 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $937,047 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bober | 53% | 89 |
| #2 | Lab demon^ | 48% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bober | 53% | 89 |
| #2 | Lab demon^ | 48% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bober | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bober | 70 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | Lab demon^ | 60 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P4f | -0.09 | 18 | 64 |
| #2 | Lab demon^ | -0.10 | 18 | 52 |
| #3 | Bober | -0.79 | 14 | 66 |





