








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 726 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2432 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,572 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2287 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2501 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1751 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2033 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $561,178 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TricksterLoki | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | LionTim | 61% | 46 |
| #3 | SimpLord69 | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | CheezeCraker | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TricksterLoki | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | LionTim | 61% | 46 |
| #3 | SimpLord69 | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | CheezeCraker | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheezeCraker | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | TricksterLoki | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LionTim | 95 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | CheezeCraker | 23 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | SimpLord69 | 20 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | TricksterLoki | 13 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheezeCraker | +2.48 | 95 | 39 |
| #2 | Blend3r | +1.74 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | LionTim | -1.38 | 71 | 51 |
| #4 | SimpLord69 | -1.54 | 27 | 38 |
| #5 | TricksterLoki | -2.09 | 58 | 34 |





