








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1777 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1457 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 861 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1171 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $143,699 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chuda Takahashi | 56% | 90 |
| #2 | StormyAlex | 53% | 101 |
| #3 | Collection | 51% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chuda Takahashi | 56% | 90 |
| #2 | StormyAlex | 53% | 101 |
| #3 | Collection | 51% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Collection | 14 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | StormyAlex | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Chuda Takahashi | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Collection | 637 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #2 | StormyAlex | 385 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #3 | Chuda Takahashi | 184 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Collection | +3.49 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | StormyAlex | +3.25 | 66 | 66 |
| #3 | Herelon | -1.66 | 35 | 49 |
| #4 | Chuda Takahashi | -2.28 | 23 | 51 |





