








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1770 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2130 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1302 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1337 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1682 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $583,579 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Northwood | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Ᏽ𐋅Ꝋ𐌔𐌕 𐌀𐌉 | 63% | 49 |
| #3 | ᴹ¹ˣ³ᴰ | 60% | 67 |
| #4 | Freddy | 46% | 65 |
| #5 | ADReamonsta | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ADReamonsta | 43% | 40 |
| #6 | LeakySLAYER | 39% | 66 |
| #7 | ScrunSlayer293 | 33% | 72 |
| #8 | köyhä rotta | 32% | 19 |
| #9 | YJiiG | 27% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeakySLAYER | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Ᏽ𐋅Ꝋ𐌔𐌕 𐌀𐌉 | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Freddy | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | ᴹ¹ˣ³ᴰ | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | ADReamonsta | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴹ¹ˣ³ᴰ | 183 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | köyhä rotta | 104 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #3 | Freddy | 92 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | ScrunSlayer293 | 84 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | ADReamonsta | 64 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴹ¹ˣ³ᴰ | +6.27 | 93 | 52 |
| #2 | Northwood | +4.52 | 79 | 55 |
| #3 | ADReamonsta | +2.58 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | köyhä rotta | +1.36 | 60 | 72 |
| #5 | Freddy | +1.19 | 70 | 49 |





