








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 354 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2920 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 299 | 6% |
| Smokes | 1280 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1773 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1398 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $357,840 of utility $22 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Real OG | 53% | 59 |
| #2 | MrMax | 49% | 347 |
| #3 | Namewarbelegt | 47% | 47 |
| #4 | ツNick♿ | 46% | 263 |
| #5 | Imka | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeckMeinArsch | 74 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | MrMax | 49 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | ツNick♿ | 24 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | The Real OG | 12 | 0.0104 |
| #5 | Namewarbelegt | 12 | 0.0130 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrMax | 608 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #2 | LeckMeinArsch | 448 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #3 | Namewarbelegt | 146 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | ツNick♿ | 141 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | Imka | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrMax | +6.25 | 74 | 58 |
| #2 | The Real OG | +4.70 | 68 | 50 |
| #3 | ツNick♿ | +3.05 | 54 | 50 |
| #4 | Namewarbelegt | +0.96 | 48 | 50 |
| #5 | Imka | -1.83 | 37 | 37 |





