










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 516 | 9% |
| Smokes | 2380 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1346 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1394 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $135,686 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 195 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Internet | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | ★tox!c★ | 50% | 114 |
| #3 | Plåtis | 47% | 60 |
| #4 | ompalompa | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Internet | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | ★tox!c★ | 50% | 114 |
| #3 | Plåtis | 47% | 60 |
| #4 | ompalompa | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plåtis | 30 | 0.0266 |
| #2 | ★tox!c★ | 15 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | ompalompa | 5 | 0.0159 |
| #4 | Internet | 1 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★tox!c★ | 333 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Plåtis | 229 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | ompalompa | 55 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Internet | 27 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Internet | +7.08 | 90 | 65 |
| #2 | ★tox!c★ | +0.56 | 42 | 51 |
| #3 | 乄 Stinky 乄 | +0.47 | 14 | 36 |
| #4 | ompalompa | +0.24 | 34 | 55 |
| #5 | Plåtis | +0.19 | 26 | 25 |





