








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1626 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,963 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1325 | 27% |
| Smokes | 898 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1571 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1169 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $388,815 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | XARON | 47% | 73 |
| #10 | Skałson | 38% | 26 |
| #11 | Wadim Butnikov | 38% | 8 |
| #12 | mountain jew | 36% | 11 |
| #13 | SymekBzymekPlaczek | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loduwka sam sung | 28 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | XARON | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Pyroo | 7 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Pastinio | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Jewgienij Paprocanov | 4 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loduwka sam sung | 476 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | XARON | 261 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Pyroo | 69 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Pastinio | 60 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Skałson | 60 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loduwka sam sung | +3.10 | 66 | 60 |
| #2 | Pittbull | +2.30 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | Хорхе Бергольо | +1.25 | 58 | 35 |
| #4 | Vitalij Dyszajev | +0.65 | 61 | 43 |
| #5 | Klon | +0.56 | 37 | 37 |





