








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 430 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3059 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,760 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4302 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5009 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3501 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3948 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $568,131 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | treebb | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | Trash Panda | 58% | 88 |
| #3 | Shurtle | 54% | 206 |
| #4 | FRED | 54% | 195 |
| #5 | pINk sHReK tO pOuInT OE | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xenophazeeeeeee | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | FRED | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Trash Panda | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Shurtle | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | pINk sHReK tO pOuInT OE | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shurtle | +1.42 | 67 | 59 |
| #2 | xenophazeeeeeee | +0.67 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | Weeeee | +0.65 | 69 | 63 |
| #4 | pINk sHReK tO pOuInT OE | +0.59 | 67 | 60 |
| #5 | treebb | +0.24 | 62 | 52 |





