








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1295 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1317 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 789 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1151 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $195,437 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dufh | 82% | 22 |
| #2 | Killermasa69 | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | rcave bobi | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Pignü | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | Bengan 👶🏿 | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | sabi | 43% | 21 |
| #17 | -.- | 43% | 21 |
| #18 | ZiMON | 37% | 19 |
| #19 | darre | 36% | 11 |
| #20 | Rockyy | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hallowed | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | pate | 1 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Abbedo ツ csgoboss.com | 1 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Pignü | 1 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | Killermasa69 | 1 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hallowed | 247 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #2 | RZE | 131 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #3 | -.- | 72 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | dufh | 54 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bonden_Lalli | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killermasa69 | +3.83 | 64 | 52 |
| #2 | Bonden_Lalli | +3.55 | 92 | 58 |
| #3 | dufh | +2.68 | 89 | 51 |
| #4 | Mini Lirre | +2.29 | 87 | 69 |
| #5 | darre | +0.53 | 76 | 70 |





