








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,376 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2914 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2305 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1446 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 711 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $597,175 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | falu ☭ | 50% | 109 |
| #2 | Radio_static_9919 | 49% | 39 |
| #3 | Daquarius marquell the third | 47% | 152 |
| #4 | NbaHungBoy | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | falu ☭ | 50% | 109 |
| #2 | Radio_static_9919 | 49% | 39 |
| #3 | Daquarius marquell the third | 47% | 152 |
| #4 | NbaHungBoy | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daquarius marquell the third | 13 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | NbaHungBoy | 5 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Radio_static_9919 | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daquarius marquell the third | 338 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | falu ☭ | 185 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | NbaHungBoy | 114 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Radio_static_9919 | 38 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | falu ☭ | +2.51 | 60 | 62 |
| #2 | Radio_static_9919 | +0.70 | 44 | 26 |
| #3 | Google Docs | -1.01 | 21 | 51 |
| #4 | Daquarius marquell the third | -1.38 | 33 | 45 |
| #5 | NbaHungBoy | -1.85 | 38 | 50 |





