








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,082 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1786 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1346 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1518 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1432 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $440,735 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matixx'ek | skins.army | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | parceli | 53% | 110 |
| #3 | matador57 | 48% | 73 |
| #4 | $IGMABARTO$Z | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matixx'ek | skins.army | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | parceli | 53% | 110 |
| #3 | matador57 | 48% | 73 |
| #4 | $IGMABARTO$Z | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matador57 | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | $IGMABARTO$Z | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | matixx'ek | skins.army | 2 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | parceli | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | parceli | 474 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | matador57 | 163 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | $IGMABARTO$Z | 66 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | matixx'ek | skins.army | 8 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matixx'ek | skins.army | +1.14 | 79 | 45 |
| #2 | lil miszczak | +0.28 | 55 | 56 |
| #3 | matador57 | +0.05 | 46 | 64 |
| #4 | parceli | -0.43 | 63 | 59 |
| #5 | $IGMABARTO$Z | -2.45 | 66 | 49 |





