








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1454 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 745 matches | ||
| Wingman | 228 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 166 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,721 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7701 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8147 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 9175 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6698 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,603,014 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1801 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shady_r1se | 60% | 77 |
| #2 | Bamse | 56% | 117 |
| #3 | SnaBBenβ’ | 53% | 191 |
| #4 | Vitoscho | 52% | 98 |
| #5 | NoFatChXx | 50% | 200 |





