








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
92 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 358 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 126 | 35% |
| Smokes | 77 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 67 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 88 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $92,519 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7 Up ♥ | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | Maennerabend | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | Just Sprayin | 31% | 16 |
| #4 | TomTom | 31% | 16 |
| #5 | Dodo | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7 Up ♥ | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | Maennerabend | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | Just Sprayin | 31% | 16 |
| #4 | TomTom | 31% | 16 |
| #5 | Dodo | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TomTom | 40 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | Just Sprayin | 28 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | Maennerabend | 3 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just Sprayin | +3.35 | 56 | 59 |
| #2 | TomTom | +1.36 | 57 | 70 |
| #3 | 7 Up ♥ | -1.48 | 51 | 20 |
| #4 | Maennerabend | -2.50 | 40 | 51 |
| #5 | Cohla | -3.07 | 26 | 54 |





